Hi..somebody plz proof read for me......plzzzz?

In “Hollow Claims about Fantasy Violence,” Richard Rhodes argues that violent entertainment is not responsible for causing violent behavior. Despite the absence of a direct link between media and violent behavior, politicians, psychological [I think that's what you mean] organizations and the Federal Trade Commission all warn against the media presenting fake violence to children. Long term historical data shows that there has been a decline in the private violence in the West since the Middle Ages. According to studies by the University of California, Berkley, the rate of homicide in the United States has declined sharply in spite of the rapid increasing exposure to various sources of media like internet, videogames etc. Experiments conducted on different groups of children, by exposing them to different kinds of mock environments (some groups were exposed to comedy while some to violence) proved that watching television motivates physical activity and not violent behavior. In the article, Rhodes refers to the critique made by Martin Baker, for the people who think that fake violence accentuates insensitivity towards violence, which implies that violent behavior makes people scared but not violent. Also, studies made by the University of Michigan showed that television is responsible for 10% of the influence toward violent behavior in children, which establishes the strong co-relational evidence implicating media violence as a risk factor for violent behavior. According to Rhodes, this co-relation was inaccurate because the behavior of the children was measured on the basis of evaluation of peers rather than direct behavioral observation. Rhodes strongly believes that the real cause of violent behavior in children is the harsh behavior of their parents and peers as well as “personal violence encounters,” In the article, he advocates expenditure of more money for physically abused children and concern about protecting the children from real violence rather than blaming media for “mock” violence.