Why can't my family ever stop bitching?

Seriously, they suffer from interminable crabbiness. All day long it's *****, *****, *****. Wonderful household they're bringing a newborn up into. And it's not like they're only crabby around me. I hear them bitching to each other because the retarded surrogate teenager can never ******* use common sense or do anything he's ever ******* told, so he ses back until I can't believe nobody just punches him in the face. Then his stepmother never stops bitching about anything ever. She works in retail, but still, the point of coming home is that you're not surrounded by all those problems anymore. Plus, these people have incomes and steady jobs, so it's not like they have anything to worry about. Yet anytime she speaks she's whining, and she's always slamming stuff down for no reason. Then there's the clinically depressed mother whose life has apparently been utterly ruined by having a family and who's only ever had one kid that's ever been smart enough to amount to anything. These people are not healthy. I do my best to stay the **** out of their way as much as possible, making little noise. I even sometimes venture out of my room to ask if they need help with anything when I think it's safe to risk it, but they want nothing. This does not feel to me to be one of those "Haha everyone's family is crazy" stories, but rather a Sisyphean cesspit of suburban postmodernist angst that's driving me up the flipping wall. Why the hell don't they just legalize euthanasia so I can be done with this?